When analyzing the complicated relationship between Dido and Aeneas in Virgil’s The Aeneid, it seems as if more questions arise than answers. Were they ever married, why did the gods play on Dido’s heartbreak over the loss of Sychaeus, and did her suicide mean anything to Aeneas are just a few that stand out. But, one of the more prominent questions is was Aeneas ever in love Dido the way she was in love him? This essay will answer that question and explain why Aeneas was never in love Dido.
With the help of Venus, Juno, and Cupid, Dido’s initial infatuation of Aeneas quickly turns into burning, passionate love. “His looks, his words, they pierce her heart and cling- / no peace, no rest for her body, love will give her none.” (pg. 127, Lines 6-7). Her love for Aeneas causes great internal conflict, due to the fact that she has sworn to never love again after the murder of her love, Sychaeus. Her sister Anna ultimately convinces Dido to let fate run its course by stating, “Dear one, dearer than light to me, your sister, / would you waste away, grieving your youth away, alone, / never to know the joy of children, all the gifts of love?” (pg. 128, Lines 39-41) Aeneas and Dido spend time together in a secluded cave (thanks to the gods) and then they may or may not have gotten married. Following this, Aeneas begins to build homes and settle down in Dido’s city of Carthage.
With all of the previous information in mind, it seems almost certain that Aeneas would be in love with Dido in same way she was in love with him. But at the beginning of The Aeneid, Aeneas’ beloved city of Troy falls when the Greeks cunningly invade. Aeneas had to quickly flee, losing his wife, Creusa, in the process. Later, he is confronted by her ghost and she tells him of his fate of a long exile and a new wife waiting for him. “These were her parting words / and for all my tears - I longed to say so much- / dissolving into the empty air she left me now. / Three times I tried to fling my arms around her neck, / three times I embraced nothing…” (pg. 102, Lines 980-984). Aeneas reacts the same exact way when confronted by the ghost of another person he dearly loves, Anchises. “Three times he tried to fling his arms around his neck, / three times he embraced-nothing...the phantom / sifting through his fingers.” (pg 205, Lines 808-810). But what did Aeneas do when in the presence of Dido’s ghost? “But Aeneas, no less / struck by her unjust fate, escorts her from afar / with streaming tears and pities her as she passes.” (pg 198, Lines 551-553). When in the presence of people he loves, Aeneas flings himself onto their phantoms. But he only apologizes to tragic Dido, feels guilty, then pities her.
In conclusion, Aeneas was never in love with Dido. After the fall of Troy, Aeneas faces seven years of constant hardship.. He loses his wife, he loses his friends, and then he loses his father. He faces long term exile roaming from one place to the next, constantly being ordered around by the gods. So when he is finally faced with a great opportunity to settle down, stability, and a position of power (since he is unaware of his true fate to found Rome at this point) he falls more in love with the idea of Carthage and a queen than the actual queen herself.
